March Madness III
There's a new bracket up, this time for heroes. Funny, I don't remember being told about the prelims! Oh well. Let's take a look.
Hercules v. Merlin. Ah, getting the mythical characters out of the way right away I see. Hercules has a sword, but according to Disney Law, he can't actually cut anyone with it. So I'll go with Merlin. Besides, I never saw Hercules, a fact which I am obligated to mention everytime one of these polls comes out. (Buckle up your seatbelts for when we get to Tarzan! You know whats coming!)
Kenai v. Aladdin- Who? Huh? Who the hell is Aladdin? I mean Kenai. Kenai. Who's he?
Lumiere v. Prince Eric- I did not know Lumiere was a hero. Eric, if I recall drove a sailing ship into the heart of a giant sea beast. So he's got that going.
Peter Pan v. John Smith- The real John Smith was fat and middle aged. And for those of you opposed to my refusal to acknowledge Ratclife as a villain- take heart; the real Governor Ratcliffe was skinned alive and nailed to a tree by Indians. Peter Pan.
Philip v. Mogli- So is Phillip the one who poked malificient with the puny sword? If so, I have to go with Mowgli on general principle.
Arthur v. Beast. Nice, put the little kid against the giant monster. Beast is one of the few heroes to actually kill his villain counterpart, so I'll give it to him. Because bad people that get drunk and try to score deserve to die more often in film.
Genie v. Tarzan- I'm voting for Genie because blah blah blah. Wait, no, I'll vote for Tarzan because he wasn't voiced by Robin Williams.
Roger v. Quasimodo- Quasi loses points for failing to get the girl at the end. Well duh, of course she was going to end up with the handsome blonde guy. What the hell were you thinking Quasi?
Ok, end of Round one.