Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Does Anyone Know Anything About Caring For Baby Rabbits?

Here's why I ask. We got this patch of grass alongside that the garage that had a stack of sticks in it. Since I never really got around to moving them the first few times I mowed the lawn, the grass had gorwn understandably tall there. Well, I needed to remedy that today.

So after moving the sticks (what the hell do I do with sticks anyway? I just moved them somewhere else? I guess I could take them to the dump.) I make my first pass with the mower and then just happen to look back. And HOLY CRAP, a patch of dirt where I just mowed is MOVING. Like, bulging up and pushing around. Now the first thing I think is that we've got one of those crazy-ass giant trapdoor spiders in our yard. And if you know me, you can imagine how I felt about that. Nonetheless I move in to check it out. And as it turns out, its a burrow of six tiny baby rabbits.

Once I realized what it actually was my first thought was "Holy crap! I just ran over a bunch of adorable baby rabbits!" Then upon closer inspection I see they're still breathing. Prompting my second thought "Holy crap! I just maimed a bunch of baby rabbits!" Oh man. I don't even like killing bugs. How the hell am I supposed to....ummm....finish off some cute little bunnies?

But upon looking further, and poking around a little with a stick I realize that they are actually completely unharmed. Six tiny, newborn rabbits, their fur the exact color of the dirt, all packed in with eachother in a hole thats maybe the size of a childs sandal. (Gwen found it weird I used that analogy) I'm debating what to do when Belmont blunders over and steps on one of them. It still manages to escape injury and scampers off.

Unsure of what else to do I usher Belmont inside and finish the rest of the lawn, staying the hell away from that spot. When Gwen got home I showed them to her, but by know they had scattered across the lawn. And when we checked a second time they were all gone. So we're hoping the mother won't abandon them or anything because I poked them with a stick. But if they do come back, does anyone know what they eat? Do I need to make tiny pants for them? What the hell am I supposed to do? What??

I will not be Top Chef

Seems the deadline to apply for next season was May 26th. Or, one day after they hyped it during the Finale. Thanks a lot Bravo. You joy-killing bastards.

Well, just gives me an extra year to plan my awesome five minute video for Season 3.

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