Monday, March 07, 2005


Yeah Dad, I heard about this one too. It's gonna be huge. Here's some of the attractions planned-

Starship Gaia- Guests travel through a giant-football shaped building where animitronic figures explain the importance of lucid correspondence.

Prototype Road- Sponsored by Ford.

Project:Planets!- Guests are strapped to a table and their stomachs are pumped while their heads are squeezed in a vice. Also, there are meteors.

A Trip Through Childlike Wonder And Fantasy- A brightly colored unicorn explains the power of creativity by way of spraying you with rotten egg fumes.

Also look for Our Existing Oceans, The Ground and Galaxy of Power (Hosted by Rosie O'Donnel!)
Man, I can't wait!

Islands of Adventure

So Gwen and I sat through a "ninety minute" time share presentation to get discount tickets to Universal Islands of Adventure. I think it ended up more like three hours, but whatever. Anyway, we made it to IoA. The day started out grey and chilly and only got worse. On one hand, thats never really fun, but on the other the place was freakin' empty. That came in handy later. Here's a rundown of the rides.

Hulk Roller Coaster- get shot out of the launch tube at 40mph, which is pretty cool. Afterwards it's pretty much your standard Six Flags roller coaster. And the on-ride camera is in a really weird place too. Like, not before or after anything exciting. B

Storms Force Accelatron(?)- It's basically the Teacups. Hey, turns out if I stop spinning the wheel halfway through one of these rides I'm temporarily incapacitated with vertigo! Fun! C

Spiderman 3D- Awesome. Easily the best ride in the park. It combines 3D screens with a regular ride track and is verrry convincing. The only one we actually went on twice. A

Dudley Do Rights Ripsaw Falls- The Splash Mountain clone. And if you think its odd that they based a ride on a kinda obscure cartoon character most kids wouldn't even recognize conside that Splash Mountain is based on a movie you can't even buy or watch on TV anymore. We rode this just as it started to rain which meant we walked right on, but also that I was wearing just a t-shirt, having given my sweatshirt to Gwen. And yeah, I got pretty soaked, which is to say, totally soaked. And thats really not a good idea on a rainy day with 45 degree weather. Gwen thought this one sucked. I liked it well enough, though of course its no Splash Mountain. Bonus- If you're ever on a ride and the lights go out and a character says "I've lost my train of thought"...and you don't know what happens next, well congratulations on your first ever visit to a theme park! B

Jurassic Park- Ahhhahahaha. The most hillarious ride ever. Sadly, I don't think it was supposed to be. For example- The voice over is giving a spiel about the mighty ultrasaur. We're all looking around for this mysterious ultrasaur, and I look backwards and see it behind a wire screen half covered in a blanket. I guess it was dead. Also there are some dinos that pop up out of the water and spit at you. But because the water is partially clear (you can plainly see the track ahead of you...booooo) you can see the metal frames they rest in, and even that one of them is clearly just a head on a jack. And oh no!I hope that big box overhead dosen't fall! Oh, it did! I guess the final T-Rex is pretty cool. Where did they ever get that idea? D

Dueling Dragons- Ok, this is pretty cool, but all I can say is HOLY CRAP look at that queue! Seriously even though we walked right on it took us ten minutes just to walk through it! We even got lost at one point! On a peak day you must have to wait two hours for this one. Pretty decent ride, though there are some conspicuous points that lack theming. Like when you pull in at the end you are up alongside a chain link fence with a big warehouse on the other side. Booo. Crazy ride though. A-

Dr Dooms Fearfall- Could be better described as "Dr Dooms Mildy Theraputic Bouncing" You get shot up...ok thats fun...then you just sorta bounce slowly back down. That one ride at Valley Fair blows this away and how often do you get to say that? D+

We didn't go to any of the shows and we walked right through Seussville. Thanks Hollywood you've ruined enough of my childhood memories.

I guess thats it. It was a fairly fun time. I still prefer Disney. Oh, and I saw now that Universal is doing trading pins. Where did they get THAT idea? I have to wonder if it will take off, as I only saw them being sold at one kiosk, and I didn't see a single employee wearing them. Gwen did buy one that I recommended though. It has Chilly Willy on it. Its cute!

Thats it.

Funny you should mention it

Because I just heard that the when the new "it's a small world" opens up, the traditional song will be done away with and be replaced with a medly of some of the world best loved songs about being eaten-and avoiding being eaten- by tigers. Some of the classics will include "Look Out, He's Behind The Rock" "Got Them Half Digested Blues", "Shhh, I Think He's Sleeping", "Aaah! My Leg!" and the Clemson fight song. It should be pretty good.

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