Monday, August 14, 2006

Ok. I'm back.

Sorry. Just couldn't let the absolute insanity of the Hell Kitchen Finale go uncommented upon. I almost wish I was recapping this, it's just so ridiculous. A few thoughts as I watch the show in progress.

- "Oh, Mom and Dad! I haven't seen you in ten days!!! AIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!" And what, Virginia is married to Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels?

- I never, ever want to hear another thing about how great Virginias pallete is. Especially since her reputation seems to be based soley upon that single taste test challenge she won. You know, the one where she correctly identified chicken, hot dogs and swiss cheese. Yeah. Awesome.

- I can't remember ever seeing a reality TV finale where I didn't want either finalist to win. I mean, last year, I didn't want Ralph to win, but come on, if he had I would have been able to say "Well, I guess he earned it." No matter who wins, I'll be shaking my head. The Idiot or the Spaz? Oh gee, who should win???

- Ok. Ok. Seriously. Wait. Ok. I thought for a few minutes that the greatest moment in HK history was destined to be the guy totally blowing off Virginias "High Five!" during the taste test in Vegas. But no. She one-ups herself during the team selection process by explaining she picked Giacomo because he was weak and if she picked him it might give him self confidence. Or as an alternate strategy you could not pick him. Just a thought. But wait! Virginia then one-ups herself again when during her first huddle with her new team she casually informs them that she picked them because they are all weak competitors. Now I was busy screaming in laughter but I think she may have even done it again when Keith said something to the effect of "You think I'm weak?" and she responded that no, but he could carry Tom and Giacomo. Priceless. You can't pay for this kind of entertainment.

- I did like Heather walking out in disgust when Virginia was doing the stuffed animal voices. Second most sensible thing anyone ever did this season.

- Tom- "I'm 42 years old. I don't need someone to motivate me to do my job." My Mother- "Maybe that why you don't have a job." Indeed.

- Tom freaking out over his cut finger? Seriously, I am looking at my hands right now and I can see a freakin' aluminum foil cut that bled more than that. Christ.

- My mother points out how insanely stressful the job seems. I note that I typically don't have a coked up Limey screaming over my shoulder when I work.

- I really, really like Virginias "Keep telling your staff how bad they are" strategy. Let's see if it pays off!

- It didn't. Heather spazzes out of course, but at least this one makes sense.

- No reaction shot of Virginia I see. I only mention that because the shot of ralph, his head slumped against his door after Michael won, was for me the most poignant image from all of last season. I ripped on Ralph all last year but for that one moment I totally identified with him.

- Keith pretty much sums up the whole season with his quote near the end. "I wanted to help Virginia win because I wanted to win $1,000." Which is the most sensible thing anyone said this year.

- Attention FOX: Next year, put the people from Top Chef on this show. Who would YOU rather watch during dinner service? Lee Anne and Harold Dieterle or Sweaty Tom and Larry the Fishmonger? Exactly.

Maybe more updates later. We'll see.

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