Thursday, June 30, 2005

Simpsons Project Season 2 Nominees

Probably a few more in this batch.

Simpson and Delilah Homer grows, loses hair. Burns gets his first great lines too. "Let them have their tar-tar sauce!"

Host: The capital of North Dakota is named after what German Ruler?
Homer: Hitler.
Marge: Hitler, North Dakota?

Bart the Daredevil The fall down the gorge-get lifted back up-loaded into ambulance-dumped back down gorge sequence absolutely killed me when I was like 12 or whatever. I guess it's all still pretty good.

Bart: [in the Simpsons' living room, watching a wrestling match]
If you ask me, this is going to be one helluva match.
Lisa: Oh, Bart, I hope you're not taking this seriously.
Even a 5-year-old knows that this is as choreographed as any ballet!
Homer: [in Moe's tavern]
Eh, Rasputin's got the reach, but on the other hand,
the Professor's got his patented coma lock.
If you ask me, this is going to be one helluva match.

Bart Gets Hit by A Car How can you not love the episode that introduced Dr. Nick?

Dr. Nick: Bad news. Your son is a very sick boy. Just look at the X-rays. See that dark spot there? Whiplash.
Homer: Whiplash? Oh no!
Dr. Nick: And this smudge here that looks like my fingerprint? No, that's trauma.
Bart: Am I going to die?
Homer: (Sobbing) Yes! You're going to die!
Marge: Homer!

One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Bluefish- Hey, an episode that speaks to everyone afraid of being fatally posioned by eating improperly prepared Japanese food. "So You're Going to Die" pamhplet is the first appearance of a running gag.

Hibbert: Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial.
Homer: No way! Because I'm not dying!
Hibbert: The second is anger.
Homer: Why you little!
Hibbert: After that comes fear.
Homer: What's after fear? What's after fear?
Hibbert: Bargaining.
Homer: Doc, you gotta get me out of this! I'll make it worth your while!
Hibbert: Finally, acceptance.
Homer: Well, we all gotta go sometime.
Hibbert: Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me.

Homer vs. Lisa And The 8th Commandment Homer steals cable, Lisa, apparently in one of her Christian phases that she seems to go through occasionaly, dissaproves.

Marge: Homer, we've talked about cable before. You really think we can afford this?
Homer: Nothing a month? Yeah, I think we can swing that.
Marge: Mmmm, are you sure this is legal?
Homer: Don't worry, Marge. Take a look at this. (Homer hands Marge a pamphlet entitled, "So You've Decided To Steal Cable.")
Marge: Myth: It's only fair to pay for quality first-run movies. Fact: Most movies shown on cable get two stars or less, and are repeated ad nauseam.

Oh, Brother, Where Are Thou? Actually, this one has a ton of great lines and bits in it. Notably Homers dumbass-ness at the adoption agency. And grampa reminscing about Herbs mother- "She did things your mother would never do, like have sex for money."

Homer: Gee Herb, because of me you lost your business, your home, and all your possessions. I can't help but think that maybe you'd have been better off if I'd never come into your life.
Herbert: Maybe I would have been better off? MAYBE!? Why you sponge-head. Of COURSE I'd have been better off. As far as I'm concerned, I have no brother! (Drives off)
Marge: Mmmmm. Maybe he just said that to make conversation.

Lisas Substitute Lisas annual emotional episode. Back when they still carried weight.

Homer: Did you hear that, Marge? She called me a baboon! The stupidest, ugliest, smelliest ape of them all!
Bart: Whoa! Somebody was bound to say it one day, I just can't believe it was her.

Blood Feud- You can't go wrong with this much Burns goodness.

Homer: Don't you know the story of Hercules and the lion?
Bart: Is it a Bible story?
Homer: Yeah, probably. Anyway... Once upon a time, there was a big mean lion who got a thorn in his paw. All the village people tried to pull it out, but nobody was strong enough! So they got Hercules, and Hercules used his mighty strength, and Bingo! Anyway, the moral is, the lion was so happy, he gave Hercules this big... thing... of riches.
Bart: How did a lion get rich?
Homer: It was the olden days!

Just missed the cut- The War of The Simpsons, Itchy and Scratchy and Marge, Dead Putting Society, Bart Gets an F. Really, any episode from this season, but hey I had to cut somewhere.

Things will really get ridiculous starting next season.

It Figures

I can't believe it. I had been planning to do a post on how Glen Williams was this seasons Terry Tiffee for the Twins. And what happens? He goes down with a dislocated shoulder, just like Tiffee did last season. I didn't mean to be that right. He is expected to be on the shelf 6-8 weeks. The Twins postseason hopes are expected to be on the shelf the rest of the year.

That Baseball Thing

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