Wednesday, May 11, 2005

A little behind the times..

I've had the worst sore throat of my life the past couple days so I really didn't feel like writing. I gargled with warm salt water (well, spit a bunch of warm salt water on my shirt really) and ate a bowl of chicken noodle soup. Too bad it turned out to be Healthy Request. Ugh, that crap is flavorless.
Anyway, this is a little late but I'll run down my picks for the first round of the heroine thing.

Lilo v. Aurora. Aurora..the Disney character that makes you say "Who? Ohhh...her." Quick, recite Auroras most famous line! Ah ha. Lilo.

Jane v. Pocohantas. Ah, the I Couldn't Give A Crap Round. I'll say Jane, what with me not having actually seen her movie.

Belle v. Wendy. Belle is the only person who's favorite part of a book comes in the first chapter. And for that I must say Wendy.

Jasmine v. Jessica Rabbit. The only thing I remember about Jessica is that she's the symbol of Pleasure Island. Which is enough to vote for Jasmine.

Snow White v. Tinkerbell. Up until a few years ago Snow White didn't even appear in her own ride. Tinkerbell, on the other hand, was described to me by a friend at Disney World as "a pouty little slut."

Cinderella v. Esmeralda. Esmeraladaadadaeda is one of the few heroines who isn't a princess by any stretch of the imagination. I mean, at best she marries a mid level army guy who no one remembers in the Disney Pantheon anyway. I don't know if I really care though, so I'll go with her anyway.

Mulan v. Alice. Pffft. Like you have to ask. Actually I'm almost tempted to vote for Alice since Disney didn't feel the need to make Alice II: Return to Wonderland and release it straight to video. But no. Mulan chops her head off and blows up her torso with ancient Chinese secret fireworks.

Ariel v. Megara. "Isn't it wonderful?" Ariel, pointing to a shipwreck, no doubt once the scene of much death and horror. Megara on the other hand I am told has the best heroine song. As opposed to the Velvet Underground, who have the best heroin song. Yes!

And now I'm done.

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