Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Game of the Year!

Ok, all the crap the Twins have thrown up was almost made bearable by tonights game. Santana strikes out 13(though it seemed like 47)including the first five he faced. Sadly he didn't get the win as it went into the 12th tied 1-1. After the Sox took the led on a heartbreaking near-double play Jason Kubel wins it with a walk-off grand slam!! So awesome. I actually turned it off and went to bed after the Sox scored. But Gwen had the bedroom tv on and had fallen asleep so I went ahead and peaked...just in time to se Kubels at bat. Between this, and Joe Mauer in general I'm willing to forgive just about anything from the Twins.

Hells Kitchen Recap- Episode II

Episode 2 of Hells Kitchen aired right after the premiere. If you missed it.

Following Pollys elimination everyone retreats to the dorm to rest. Gabe and Garrett go all caveman talking about beating the women, but promise to cut eachothers throats later. Garrett should go far. Gabe, perhaps not so much. But where is Giacomo?

We get that answer early the next morning, around 530 or so. Hey they're sleeping in as far as I'm concerned. Sous chefs Scott and Mary hit the dorms banging on cowbells to wake up the cooks. Everyone stumbles about bleary eyed and Giacomo declares it to be like WWIII. Perhaps it was a good thing you got into pizza making as opposed to say, the army dude. How often does a pizza maker have to get up early?

Everyone is dragged out back where Chef is waiting by the dumpsters. He calls out Virginia and Larry on their crappy performances last night, if for no other reason than he hasn't yelled at anyone yet. He's pissed about the sheer amount of food wasted last night. Valid point, nothing will sink a new restaurant faster then waste.
Soooo, he orders everyone to pile into the dumpsters and pull out everything they threw away. Heh. After a little verbal prodding, everyone does so. Heh, the dumpsters have color coded red and blue trash bags. Various retching noises, not sure who they come from. Does it matter. Larry is a fishmonger this can't be THAT much worse than what he deals with. Giacomo talks about losing his retainer frequently in the school trash can. Ok.

After everyone has rooted around and gagged for awhile Chef has them step back and look at all the crap they wasted. Now, go shower, they stink. That wasn't even a challenge? Awesome, he just wanted to make them crawl through garbage!

After getting cleaned up the cooks are assembled in the kitchen. Challenge time. They gotta cut perfect 10 oz. steaks, with as little waste as possible. Ah, it all ties together. With the women down 5-6 Keith is pulled from the men to make things even. He likes that not very much.

They've got ten minutes to cut, and in the usual HK fashion about six seconds is shown. How'd they do? Each of the women manages 3 or 2 for a total of 12.
For the men, Gabe has 3. Garret only gets one in, Giacomo 2. Larry skunks it, with not a single steak passing inspection. He may have earlier said he knew how to handle a knife. Or maybe that he didn't. No TiVo. It's all down to sweaty Tom. He needs 6 to tie. Chef counts out five good steaks and then...ad break!
Back and never mind, Tom tops out at five giving the women the win. They're all happy, natch. And for their reward they'll be dining with Chef at Saddle Peak Lodge, a wild game steakhouse. And they'll be taking a helicopter there! Tom is all, I didn't wanna ride a helicopter anyway, waahhhh. The men have to cut all the steaks for the next dinner service.

During the flight one of the women proposes taking the chopper to Vegas. I don't know who they are wearing helmets. At dinner Chef does the charming Brit bit. Virginia thinks she'd like to get to know him on a new level. Well last year Elsie parlyed Chefs fondness for her into a lenghty run, if you bang him maybe you'll win! Kidding of course, they're both married I hear. So just forget about all of that!

In the kitchen the men gurantee a dinner service victory. Larry acts the pariah, working apart from everyone and interviews that he feels he let his team down. Yeah, you kinda did.

The women return and decide to jacuzzi rather then hit the hay. The men, upon finishing their work hang outside for awhile before going to bed. Except Larry. Who despite claiming sickness decides to get in the jacuzzi with the girls and drink some beer. The other guys are not impressed.

Long story short, that night Larry calls an ambulance, he's feeling all tingly. The next morning no one knows where he is. The phone rings! ANSWER THE PHONE! It's Larry, in a hospital. Says his body shut down from the stress and he has to drop out. He gives everyone a pep talk before going. Virginia seems kinds broken up over this. Chill out, you barely knew him!

Ok, either the stress of one dinner service and two days of prep ground down his body or he was legit sick and excaberated it with hot tubs and booze. Whichever one, he didn't really deserve to go farther.

For dinner service tonight Virginia vows to give 150% as opposed to her customary 115%. I don't have any math jokes in me. Giacomo drops what looked like a mango. I've never cared too much for mango actually. What?

At lineup Chef taps Sara and Keith to act as servers for the night. Man, does he just not like Keith or something? Let the dude perform. Maybe it's the hat. I'd eliminate him just for wearing his hat like that. Keith is advised to run up and down the stairs and maybe lose some weight.

First ticket for the women, and Chef is pissed because he has to repeat it. Kieth bungles the first ticket for the men and has to redo it. When he does Tom asks for a repeat. He doesn't get it. Gabe asks if their were two quail on that ticket? Actually there was no quail. Would you like that e-mailed to your Blackberry Gabe? Chef, with the contemporary humor!

It takes about an hour, but eventually apps are flying out...Chef calls for a time on one dish from the men, and they all answer "one minute!" in unison. Funny, but Chef didn't think so. The women have started pushing out entrees.

Ah, but team superstar Heather needs some duck sauce, and in reaching for it burns her hand on the stove. Panic ensues as Chef manages to be slightly compassionate in getting her hand under water. Ad Break!

Back, and Heather, her voice choking with pain calls out what she has in the oven and when it needs to come out. Trooper! Ambulance #2 arrives to take her away.

The man can't so much capitalize as Tom and Giacomo can't get on the same page. Looks like Jockos fault there. Virginia serves up some raggedy tortellini and insists its good enough. Chef disagrees. She disagrees with him. For awhile. Let it go!

Jocko is still botching the side dishes. Chef descends on him with a fury. Comments are made about hair. Seriously, how can you not make that guy wear a hat or something? Come on.
People are fleeing the restauarnt. Chef calls everyone over to the pass and has them look out on all the empty tables. Shut it down!

Heather returns, hand heavily bandaged, just in time for lineup. Chef praises her guts for keeping her head and delegating while tending to her burn. Heather is really shaping up to be the star here. "Gabe 2 times"? Why do I take particularly crappy notes regarding Gabe?

The men failed to push out any entrees, hence they lose. Garrett is named as the only one who didn't suck, so he'll do the nominating. Outside Giacomo doesn't even try to defend himself. He sure didn't look good tonight. Keith is out if the equation, he had nothing to do with the loss. Tom acts all cutthroat. I also wrote down 'haircut' here, I can only presume it had to do with Giacomo. Oh yeah, someone told him he had to get an adult haircut if he wanted to be treated like an adult. Ok.

Lineup and Garret nominates Giacomo and...Tom. That one was a bit surprising. Tom vows to never makes these mistakes again. Chef believes him and sends him back in line. Then calls up Gabe. I don't like his chances here. Jocko defends himself with an analogy to a greasy potato. Chef calls him a gresy mop. Whatever, Gabe gets cashiered for basically being too nice. No passion it seems. Hit the corridor!

Garret demands everyone go to Vegas and put their money on him. I wonder if you actually can bet on this? I'll have to look. Gabes jacket gets the meat hook treatment.

Next Week! People yell at eachother! See you then!

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