Friday, February 10, 2006

Watching the Olympics

- Is it just me or does the guy doing colour commentary on the downhill skiing practice sound like a stoned Garfield? Gwen says she doesn't hear it but its cracking me up.

- Opening ceremnoy. That "gold anvil" looks silver to me. Of course I'm colourblind.
Dancers coming together to form a human heart? Gag.

Now skaters with jetpacks? Huh?
Those alpine horns sound like dying elephants. Are those guys wearing the flags on their backs? Whats with the people wearing christmas trees? They look like they were made out of trash bags.
Ah, its the requisite "have a whole bunch of people in different costumes come out and run around" time.

Does Home Depot recruit olympic atheletes to work in their stores or what? Every Olympics they run those ads about how they employ more Olympians than anyone. Maybe they hang out at ski slopes running a sort of reverse ringer program? You know, getting top atheletes to work in the flooring department. Ha ha ha.

They needed Armani to design those costumes? They're bedsheets for crying out loud. You just know that a-hole is laughing it up over that one. "I got them to wear my sheets! Sacre bleu! I mean....whatever Italians exclaim!"

Alright, the kid is singing now. Its a good time to go get some ice cream and gouge my eyes out.

Who's the old guy???? I wanted to see Silvio Bersculoni! I'm not being sarcastic, I was actually looking forward to seeing him. The commentator do point out that Italy has the third largest Allied contingent in Iraq.

How do they plan this shit? "Ok, lets put 200 people in bannana yellow jumpsuits and have them do a Macarena kinda thing for awhile, that should kill a couple minutes."

Ok, the giant skiier guy is pretty cool. Oh no, his butt is falling apart!

Alright, I confess, I'm impressed by that. (Oh good, the jetpack guys are back)

Heh. The camera zooms in on Team America watching this and the commentators are all like "Ooh! Bode Miller! Bode! Bode!" meanwhile Shaun White is standing right next to him with his jaw hanging wide open and no one even notices him. Hey guys, how about talking about someone who is probably going to actually win a medal?

Ok, here comes the parade. I'm outta here.

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