Friday, May 19, 2006

The Greatest Rant Ever

Ok. Ok. I can't even do this justice. You really would have had to have been there. But last night, we're watching the finale of American Inventor and Gwen ended up going off on the single most awesome rant I have ever heard in my life.

So the kid who invented the stupid tandem bicycle gets eliminated from the show, but he gets some runner up prizes. First, the VP of research for some bike company comes out and tells him that they are offering him a job with their company so he can finish his invention after all. Pretty cool. But wait! There's a video message from a special guest! And it's Lance Armstrong! Well, I have no idea what he said because the minute he appeard on screen Gwen slams her fist down on the card table (where she was working on wedding stuff) and screams "I HATE LANCE ARMSTRONG!!"

Okayyyyy. I may have heard before that she found him somewhat irriatating. But she took it to a whole new level. No way I can possibly recapture the magic, but some of the high points...

- "Every time he opens his mouth, all I can think is 'God, what a prick!'"
- "The next person I see wearing a Live Strong bracelet is gonna get bitch slapped."
- Everyone in the world just loves him, but he makes me just want to throw up!"

I can't even repeat everything she said, lest I make her out to be worse than she actually is. I just wish I hadn't been laughing too hard to remember the whole thing. Congratulations Gwen. Best. Rant. Ever.

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