The Worst Dog Ever

It's a testament to to how enured Gwen and I have become to Belmonts habitual carnage that the following conversation can take place-

Gwen: Oh my God this (urine) stain in the living room is like six feet long!

Me: Don't worry, that's not (urine) it's blood.

Gwen: Oh. Ok then.

I should point out that said blood actually came from an empty ground beef package Belmont fished out of the garbage and dragged across the carpet and not from any particular gruesome episode. Which certainly makes it so much more bearable.