Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Hells Kitchen Episode 3 Recap

Here we go.

Last week! Gabe gets boned by the hand of fate! Maybe the producers just wanted to kepp Jocko and Tom around?

Next morning Chef calls up the dorms and politely asks if the cooks would please mind assembling in the kitchen? Thank you. They do, except for "New Chris" Sara who was in the shower. People, being clean good, pissing off Chef needlessly, bad. Anyway, todays challenge will be to cook three of the entrees from the menu (chicken, tortellini and salmon) but only person at a time can be in the kitchen. Go!

Virginia and Sweaty Tom are up first. Tom finds some pre-made tortellini in the fridge and tries to run with it. Did you really think that was gonna fly? It doesn't. After five minutes are up Jocko and Rachel come in to take over. Tom and Virginia explain whats going on in 15 seconds and fall back.

Keith and Maribel are in next and confusion is partaken of. Maribel is not informed of the tortellini portion while Keith misunderstanding Jocko starts making new tortellini for his side. Sara and Garret are last and its a total communication breakdown for the women. Garret starts making MORE tortellini but still gets all three entrees out. Sara misses, you guessed it, the tortellini. I cannot type tortellini without making at least one typo.

The guys are up one dish by default though Chef does take an opportunity to bitch out Sweaty Tom for his posture. Tom interviews that Chef doesn't know who he's talking to and you don't wanna get in a street fight with Tom! Yeah, I imagine he's hard to get a grip on.

Taste test. The womens chicken is somewhat better, the men managed to burn the lettuce. Oops the mens salmon is missing the bacon and sauce. The women win! For the mens punishment they will have to wash and press all the linens. This provides ample opportunity for the guys to go all caveman about how women should be doing the laundry.

The girls get to take a boat ride with chef, while the guys find out they have to do all the washing by hand. Lame dude. They make the most of it practicing their communication skills, calling out tickets and responding and such.

Garrett says some crap about women using sexism as their rallying cry but the he knows the men have more to overcome. And then Keith really lays it on about how someone who walks and talks like him has to prove himself even more. I'm sorry that sound you may have just heard was me throwing up a little. Hey you look like an idiot, you should have to prove otherwise.

Almost service time and Chef pulls everyone together. The goal is to clear all the tickets tonight! I assume it really always is. Anyhoo, orders come streaming in and Sara and Keith start in on the apps. Sara does not so much appreciate Heathers constant advice. Don't take the golden child thing too far Heather. They do the conflicting answers thing again when Chef calls for a time on a risotto. That draws Heather an admonishment from Chef. Not Heather!

Service is going swimmingly until Jocko complains to Sous Chef Scott that the oven isn't hot. A cursory inspection reveals that the Jockster forgot to turn on the gas. You can imagine the swearing that results. On the womens side Heather is banging out entrees but is stalled by some watery sauce. Keith needs some tomato sauce to finish his apps and asks Tom to make some more. But it is then revealed there is some in the fridge. Tom for some reason refuses to stop working on the sauce which is just plain idiotic. Chef agrees. Much muttering and glaring amongst the men.

The women are humming along on their entrees but the guys have ground to a total stop. And its pretty much all on Giacomo. Oh I don't like how this is shaping up. Chef boots Jocko off the meat station and replaces him with Keith, who is stunned by what a mess the place is. He and Tom get into it some more over a million different little things. Tom burns himself a little and makes sure everyone knows it. Chef really enjoys that.

The women are doing pretty well despite some problems with the lamb Wellington. Maribel only had six prepped and there were eight ordered. She informs Chef of this and he informs her she can bloody well make two more. Tom is still groaning over his hand drawing a "Stop being a bloody drama queen" from Chef. Christ, really. Oh and he's out of mashed potatoes despite having only sent out two entrees. Seems he burned them. Good job.

We get another scene of a diner coming up to the pass to demand their food. Maribel rushes it up but it's undercooked. The table leaves, Chef kicks a garbage can, the kitchen closes.

Lineup. Chef praises Sara and jumps all over Maribel for blowing her teams shot at finishing the service. He then turns his full fury on Giacomo. Well, he kinda had it coming. A little lip service for Tom too, who seems to be living on borrowed time. No surprises, the men lose again. Rather then appoint one cook who did the best he just tells everyone to pick one person to go home. Keith can't decide between Jocko and Tom. In the end Tom chooses Jocko, everyone else chooses Tom.

Asked to defend themselves Tom claims to be the smartest guy in the kitchen. Wow I didn't think I had anything left to throw up, but there you go. In the end Giacomo gets sent home because if he can't turn on an oven, how could he run a kitchen? I know it was the right move but I just have to say NOOOOOOO! Giacomo! I was banking on you you pizza-making bastard! Meat hook for Jocko.

Next week! I don't watch Hells Kitchen on a little fuzzy screen on Gwens laptop!

I'm so very sorry.

Incredibly, despite the fact that I've been looking forward to tonights HK doubleshot all week I left the house without setting up the VCR. Gwen made a last ditch effort when she got home but it was a no-go. I am currently looking for it online but I fear it may be futile. I am, so very, very, very sorry. Frowny face emoticon!

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