Monday, June 20, 2005

Okay, let's take a look at YF's Greatest Americans list first. Lemme see what I can quibble (quibble?) with here...

Walt Disney- I didn't put him in my top 25 though he would be close. Defintely close. He's really the poster boy for American entepenureal (too early in the morning for spelling) success. And whats really amazing about him, if you've read his biographies, is how he failed more often than he succeeded. But he always refused to compromise on his values and vision. He nearly ran himself and his company into bankruptcy to build Disneyland, but it ended up changing the way people vacation. He lost Oswald the Rabbit to a schyster film distributor, than created Mortimer (soon to be Mickey) Mouse on the train ride home. He just kept, sigh, reaching for the stars (It's too early to think of non-cliche sayings) instead of just throwing crap at the wall to see what sticks. It's sad to see how the modern Disney company has been warped beyond his original vision, but hey, that's not his fault and it's still pretty great. I'd put him around 30.

Bill Gates- I can't decide. On one hand he's super rich, which I appreciate. On the other hand Windows is frequently as user friendly to me as an abacus on fire. Top 75.

U.S. Grant- Ok, I'm really stepping in it trying to recite Civil War history to you, but listen. The line on Grant has always seemed to be that he was the first general who actually knew what to do with the Army of the Potomac. Well, all right. He was in command at the end for sure. And he did figure out that you could, you know, use the big army to pummel smaller army. But it helps when the smaller army is starving to death anyway. And really, for every Vicksburg there was a Cold Harbor. Or a Wilderness. Or sending black troops into the Petersburg crater without ladders. Oh yeah, he was probably the worst president of all time too. Top 100 because he was the guy Lee surrendered too.

George Patton- I accidentaly left him off my first list. Top 20 for sure, maybe top pure general. Gets mega bonus points because when Germany surrendered he wanted to keep going and throw the Russians out of Eastern Europe. Pretty visionary!

Clara Barton- I had to go hit google up to refresh my memory on her. Ok, top 50. Get that woman a dollar coin no one spends!

Red Cloud- Ok, I can respect what he did, or tried to do anway. The only problem is, I doubt he would consider himself an American.

Robert E Lee- Eh, this is a sticky pickle. (Sticky pickle? Did you get any sleep last night?) I really lack the knowledge to comment on his tactical ability, but watching Gettysburg I always got the impression that he had the brilliant idea to march his army across a mile and a half of flat open ground while the entire enemy army wailed away on it...then dumped it on Longstreet. George Pickett never forgave him for it, why should I? That man puts out a quality buffet!
Plus, things really started to go downhill once Stonewall Jackson died, eh? I don't know.

Honus Wagner- I'd say you can make a realistic case for four baseball players to be in the top 100. Wagner was maybe the first real national sports super star. And he actually lived up to his role model status, which is pretty rare. Babe Ruth, well that one's not hard to figure out. Ted Williams I've gone over before. And Jackie Robinson obviously. I'd find room for all of them in my top 100.

Bob Dylan, Elivs Presley- Eh, top 100 I'd guess.

Ok, as for Jen...
Well, there's alot of overlap here so just the new ones-

First off, way to stick it to JFK. Can anyone tell me what this guy actually accomplished? Really? His dad pulled strings to win him a Pulitzer, he only won because of massive voter fraud in Chicago and he totally botched the Bay of Pigs. Ah, but he was the James Dean of presidents and thats what people remember.

Steven Spielberg- No, he replaced the guns in E.T. with walkie-talkies. Plus he indirectly spawned that E.T. game for Atari. Damn, I think I'm still trying to get my guy out of that pit.

Dr Spock- I have only ever heard of two people having the last name Spock and they were both doctors. Really, what are the odds? I know nothing about this man.

Oprah- I'd actually consider her for top 50 when you consider- A: Her massive influence on 50 percent of the nations population and B: The fact that she came up from pretty much nothing to giving new cars away to roomfuls of strangers. So good for her.

I guess that covers it. Clearly my list is the superior one.

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