Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Hells Kitchen Episode 3 Recap Part 1

Okay, I'm gonna try recapping this show for those who haven't seen it. Lets see how it goes.

Intro...Gordon Ramsey is Britains top chef...but he's mean! Now he's going to give one of twelve contestants their own restaurant.
Rundown of the previous two episodes. Carolann gets cut for not wanting to help out in the kitchen. Dewey walks off his station in episode 2 so he's gone.
Elsie is sad that Dewbery is gone. He was just so lovable and fun. Which is of course why you stabbed him in the back in epsiode one? (If you didn't see it, it was Elsies job to pick two team mates, one of whom would be cut. She promised not to pick Dewbery, and then, well, you know)
At morning roll call Ramsey notes that red team has lost two straight nights and their ranks are looking a little thin. He calls Michaels name...and tells him to take off his jacket. Michael looks like he just swallowed a bee, but no worries. Chef is just sending him over to red team to even things out at five a piece. This is pretty huge for Red team as Michael is actually a professional chef. The other members of red team are probably wondering if they can send Jeff over in exchange, but they don't get the chance to ask.
Todays challenge- they have to cook a complete five course meal for a VIP- namely Chef Ramsey. Everyone get sent outside where double decker bus is waiting. They first need to go to the store and get their supplies. The teams seperate by level on the bus to plan their strategy. On the blue side, Andrew suggests some ideas, but Ralph bulls right over him and tells everyone how they'll do it. Andrew is displeased. He also looks like he's about 17, so I might have a little trouble taking him seriously too. On the red side Jeff hypes his soup but everyone just blows him off.
At the store the sous chefs meet them outside and inform the teams they each have 100 dollars and ten minutes to get their stuff. Starting...after the break.
Ok, after the break the whistle blows and both teams light out like crazy to grab their ingredients. The teams have to stay together, more or less it seems. Jeff immediately gets under his teams skin when, sent for bread he just kinda stands around whining that the loaves are too hard. "You're making croutons!" Blue team glides through the produce section apparently grabbing things at random. Red team can't move on because Jeff is...standing around looking at greeting cards? Damn, this guy looks like he has no idea what is going on pretty much all the time. Final seconds now as red has all their stuff, but blue still needs bacon! Bacon! Everyone scrambles for the meat counter and Ralph dramatically lobs a package into the cart just as time expires. Instant replay shows he didn't quite make it in time, but hey, close enough for non-sports themed reality TV.
Back to the kitchen where they all spend about 12 seconds preparing the meal. On the blue side Ralph just bulls over everyone and tells them what to do. No apparent problems for red team. Or maybe nothing interesting happened that I can remember. I should really take notes if I'm going to do this. Anyway, its a safe bet that red team got annoyed at Jeff.

Tasting time. The teams line up with their individual dishes on silver platters. First up are the cold starters. Wendy goes for the blue team, but forgets the name of her dish. Oh well, Chef hated it anyway. Elsie has better luck with her salad. No specifics given, just a 'salad'. Chef praises Jessicas dish, which almost makes her cry. "Its the first nice thing he's ever said to me!" Jeff serves up an onion soup and everyone is clearly watching for him to fall on his ass. Instead Chef compliments him for making something boring tasy. Michael rolls his eyes and opines that Jeff pulled that out of his ass. For the main course Andrew serves a grilled ribeye..garnished with grilled peaches? Apparently he didn't want to use them but Ralph put them on (while doing his best Emeril- "Grilled peaches, oh yeah!") Chef is skeptical, and after one bite declares the experiment a failure. God, if I was Andrew I'd be screaming "The peaches weren't my idea!" but he's cool enough to keep it to himself. He even manages to avoid glaring at Ralph, that I can see. Chris's entree flops too for Red team. Chris just assumes that since he is an executive chef, Ramsey just holds him to a higher standard. Or maybe you suck?
Anway Chef likes Raplhs dish, and Andrews, though he calls him a smart-ass for carving Hells Kitchen logo out of a mushroom. For the desserts Mary Ellens dish is good enough, but Jimmys bombs. So its tied up at three a piece. The winner is...commercial break!
Ok, the winner is Red team since their dishes worked better together. And didn't feature grilled peaches on steak. (ok, thats what I thought anyway) Their prize is a night at the bar with chef. Blue team gets to spot clean the dorm. They are...unhappy with this to say the least. As the red team gets ready to go, Jimmy adds insult to injury by strolling out of the toliet stall and asking Ralph "Peaches and Steak" to go in there and "clean up".
At the bar red team kisses chefs ass and laugh loudly at his jokes. Jeff sucks at darts and throws one in the wall. At the dorm Blue team angrily cleans. Ralph sips a glass of wine and wishes he was out drinking. Jessica fights tears as she delcares Chef has it in for her. Yeah.
That night Jeff slinks into the toliet stall where much moaning and splashing occurs. Uh? He emerges and proudly puts a tiny dot on a towel and rushes out to the kitchen. "Who wants to see a kidney stone?" He tries to explain the grueling process of filtering a kidney stone but everyone just laughs at how small it is. "It's like a mustard seed!" I bet Jeff hears that alot.
Strategy session for the nights meal. Red team meets outside, except for Jeff who is asleep in bed. Elsie goes to fetch him. Once at the meeting he immediately gets into it with Chris and much swearing results. The end result? No one likes Jeff.


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