Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Are you dumb enough to be a Ring character?

Gwen and I saw Amittyville horror last night. Gwen was pretty scared...me less so. But the familys refusal to leave a house where they are constantly seeing dead people got me thinking about the way people act in these movies. Especially the Ring, the crown prince of Dumbass Horror Movie Behaviour. So I've put together a little quiz, drawing on the two ring movies so you can see if you have what it takes..or don't have what it takes...whatever...to be a Ring Character.

1. You have come into possession of a mysterious video tape. To unlock its secrets you go to a video editing expert. While examining the tape the two of you notice something strange. Do you-
A. Let the proffesional handle the situation and try to find out what it is
B. Shove them out of the way and start violently spinning the controls until you break the damn thing.

2. You're on a ferry. You spot a horse in a trailer. Knowing that there is some connection to horses in the spooky mystery you are investigating you nonetheless walk up and start petting it. The horse becomes visibly agitated. Do you-
A. Just walk away. You don't need this.
B. Continue provoking the horse and do just about everything short of poke it with a stick until it kicks its way out of the trailer and goes on a rampage.

3-Oops! Your buddy tricked you into watching a copy of the tape! Now you'll die in seven days unless you can get someone else to watch a copy! Do you-
A. Pay a wino ten bucks to watch the tape (then tell him to continue the cycle afterwards if you're not a complete dick)
B. Wait six days, twenty three hours and fifty eight minutes before trying to get your girlfriend to watch it.

4 You're watching your co-workers young child while she is out. He's gone in to take a bath. Walking upstairs you notice the bath water is still running despite the fact that he has been in there for some time. Do you-
A. Immediately go in and see if something is wrong.
B. Go in to the other room and take a phone call from the sheriff and chat about they days headlines.

5. During a visit to Our Lady of the Divine Plot Exposition convent you've pretty much been conveninetly handed the entire backstory and given the address for the mother of the ghost that is haunting you. When you go to see her she starts telling you relevant stuff then kind of freaks out. The orderly asks you to leave. Do you-
A. Come back in awhile once she's cooled down so you can find out whats going on.
B. Just leave. Nothing interesting here, am I right?

Scoring- Hell, if you said B for any one of those you probably qualify.

1 Comments:

At 11:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm proud to say that I never saw those movies. Yet, I feel strangely compelled to add a third option to each of your questions.
1. I would just wait for it to come out on DVD. The digitally remastered version should clear things up. And it might even have out-takes.
2. I'm not sure how petting a horse is supposed to solve a mystery in the first place. I believe I would just talk to the jockey sitting on the horse.
3. I would trick my girlfriend into watching it right away, and save the ten bucks.
4. People, even little kids, should know better than to take a bath in a horror movie. It's usually fatal. As soon as the kid announced he was in need of a bath, I'd just head for home.
5. What's the big deal? She's an old lady. So what if she gets freaked out? Knock her down and get her in an arm bar. She'll talk.
How'd I do? I didn't get any number 2s. Or, maybe all my answers were number 2.
YF

 

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